FIFA

Morning Docket

Morning Docket: 03.10.23

* NY prosecutors signal that Donald Trump is about to be indicted. It's probably a misdemeanor for falsifying records to bribe Stormy Daniels into silence, but it's something. [Huffington Post] * Speaking of bribery, the trial of the Fox executives accused of bribing soccer officials results in split verdict. The only proper result for a case about a sport that drags on forever and ends in a draw. [Courthouse News Service] * Alex Murdaugh is appealing his conviction based on... well, the filing doesn't say but I'm sure those crazy kids will come up with something. [The Hill] * Brett Favre's lawyer says his defamation claims against commentators addressing the Mississippi welfare scandal are a "slam dunk." Which is the wrong sport. [Awful Announcing] * DoNotPay hit with class action lawsuit. Maybe the algorithm can defend them here! If the company is willing to bet a million on its ability to win a SCOTUS case, it can surely do this pro se. [CBS News] * DOJ opposing efforts to keep judges from enhancing sentences for minor crime convictions based on allegations where the jury acquitted. See, this is a reason to be furious with Merrick Garland. [Reuters] * Do you still use paper business cards? Should you upgrade to one of the objectively cooler options out there or are you too much of an American Psycho fan to give up paper? [Daily Business Review]

By Above the Law
Morning Docket

Morning Docket: 01.18.23

* Former Fox executives brand witness in FIFA bribery case as vengeful, then presumably flopped on the ground holding their shins. [Law360] * If the Supreme Court ditches Chevron... how will businesses react? [Bloomberg] * Michael Cohen is back in the news, speaking with prosecutors about the Stormy Daniels hush money deal. [New York Times] * Oh look! A serial objector trying to derail a settlement. This is why we can't have nice things. [Law.com] * Derek Chauvin is looking to get his state murder convictions thrown out. This is a big deal because it wouldn't even get him out of jail (his federal sentence is locked in)... it's just a bid to set a friendly precedent to the next police officer who might murder someone. [NPR]

By Joe Patrice
Morning Docket

Morning Docket: 02.12.19

* When trying to credibly disavow past comments making light of sexual assault victims, try to do it sometime before your entire career hinges on pantomiming remorse. [National Law Journal] * Steptoe the latest firm to unveil a new strategy to promote diversity. [American Lawyer] * In the latest ABC News "The Investigation" podcast, John Dowd describes the Mueller investigation that's tripped up 30+ actual and alleged wrongdoers "a terrible waste of time." [The Investigation] * EU has logged 59,000 data breaches since GDPR came online. So that's working out great. [Corporate Counsel] * Pierce Bainbridge continues its hiring spree, nabbing an IP litigation star from McKool. [The Recorder] * Soccer officials appeal red cards to Second Circuit. [Law360] * Trump commissions Cyberdyne Systems. [Courthouse News Service]

By Joe Patrice
Morning Docket

Morning Docket: 08.21.18

* Michael Cohen is talking to John Dean because 2018 is the new 1973. [WTOP] * Shocking no one, John Dowd doesn't understand basic laws. [Washington Post] * Andrew Cuomo signed a bill cracking down on bad prosecutors. He's been in office for 7 years but he finally got around to this because Cynthia Nixon said something about criminal justice reform. [Law360] * UNC students toppled a confederate statute because the school wasn't doing anything about it. [Huffington Post] * Will elite Biglaw firms suffer from mid-tier competition? Probably not, but maybe. [American Lawyer] * Microsoft identifies more Russian hacking efforts because Microsoft is our default government now. [Courthouse News Service] * Georgia is trying to kill kids. [AJC] * FIFA fired its lawyer so if you want a job facilitating international graft on an epic scale, here's your chance. [NY Times]

By Joe Patrice
Morning Docket

Morning Docket: 12.07.17

* "Stanford Law School is spreading its brand through a SiriusXM weekly show." Oh good, because they've really been struggling in anonymity. [The Recorder] * District judge is tired of this DOJ's bullshit and decided to write the Supreme Court about it. [National Law Journal] * Another sexual enterprise suit filed going after K&L Gates and Boies. [American Lawyer] * "Stanford Law School is spreading its brand through a SiriusXM weekly show." Oh good, because they've really been struggling in anonymity. [The Recorder] * Oh Fahrvergnügen! VW compliance chief gets 7 years. [Corporate Counsel] * IT Department testify against criminal defendant in hilarious own goal. [Law360] * Patagonia suing over Trump's decision to trash a bunch of national monuments. [Corporate Counsel] * Lawyers Lawyers! Big Caesar's hands Kirkland $77 million. [American Lawyer] * Jenna Greene at Litigation Daily points out that there's a lawsuit over Froot Loops not containing any fruit. Right... but it's chockfull of "Froot." [Casemine]

By Joe Patrice
Morning Docket

Morning Docket: 11.30.17

* "On the surface it looks like you covered this up," is never the most encouraging message to hear from the federal judge on your case. [The Recorder] * Jeffrey Wertkin, the former Akin Gump partner who sold whistleblower complaints to targeted companies, pleaded guilty. [Reuters] * Juror dismissed from FIFA corruption trial for falling asleep, proving a trial about soccer is just as thrilling as a game of soccer. [Law360] * The highest paid GCs in America. [Corporate Counsel] * Jones Day continues its drive to scoop up SCOTUS clerks by the bushel. [American Lawyer] * Neal Katyal has passed Thurgood Marshall as the minority lawyer with the most Supreme Court arguments. [Litigation Daily] * It looks like justices from both ends of the philosophical spectrum will come together to rule that the DOJ still needs to get warrants. Glad we can all come together to agree on this very, very low bar. [National Law Journal]

By Joe Patrice
Morning Docket

Morning Docket: 11.17.17

* If you were wondering how the tax bill would screw over attorneys, here it is. [Law360] * Neil Gorsuch appeared at the Federalist Society dinner and made jokes about the "frozen trucker" case because a lifetime appointment means never having to say you're sorry. [National Law Journal] * Jared Fogle tried the old "sovereign citizen" trick. Unfortunately for him, admiralty courts have jurisdiction over subs. [ABA Journal] * Does the media's prophylactic use of "allegedly" to avoid libel contribute to a culture that dismisses women's stories of harassment? An interesting Al Franken-inspired case study. [Washington Post] * Don't kill Section 230 just because some websites don't take the time to manage their trolls. [Slate] * Robert Hays secured a fifth term as chair of King & Spalding. Woe to those who oppose his glorious reign. Dilly dilly. [American Lawyer] * The Washington Supreme Court has finally ruled that former Skadden Fellow Tarra Simmons can take the bar exam. [KING5] * When you're paying $160 million in bribes, you're doing something wrong. [Law360]

By Joe Patrice
Morning Docket

Morning Docket: 10.19.17

* The jury will be kept away from the press for the FIFA corruption case over concerns of a media frenzy. Americans respond, "what's a FIFA?" [Law360] * Some people think we're cranky lawyers, but this woman seems way crankier. [Law.com] * Roy Moore says kneeling during the national anthem is illegal showing the sort of crack legal acumen that got him kicked off the courts twice. [Washington Post] * Everyone's giving money to Cy Vance. You know, just in case they need to have a meeting with him. [New York Law Journal] * In case someone out there hasn't gotten the memo, law firms are the weak link in cybersecurity. [Business Insider] * Harvard Law student kicked off American Airlines flight with her baby. [The Root] * A student guide to judicial clerkships. [Prawfs Blawg]

By Joe Patrice
Morning Docket

Morning Docket: 09.06.17

* Let the DACA lawsuits begin! [New York Law Journal] * But don't forget about the transgender ban -- we've got a new lawsuit over that too, courtesy of Latham & Watkins. [The Recorder] * New York AG Office secures up to 7-year sentence in Operation Vandelay Industries, which was exactly what you'd think it is. [Law360] * Richard Spencer is trying to speak at the University of Florida now as part of the ongoing real assault on campus free speech -- the deliberate efforts by Spencer and others to whip up enough protest so they can then agitate for schools to install roadblocks against organized dissent. And lawyers remain the easiest marks in the world for this con. [Corporate Counsel] * Former CIA Director John Brennan is joining Fordham Law School's Center on National Security. [Seattle Times] * A profile of Edward Hanover, FIFA's first-ever compliance officer. So all that stuff about countries buying votes and using slave labor is a thing of the past! Or, will be by 2022 anyway. [Law.com] * The Boston Red Sox have filmed a powerful ad for the Apple iWatch. [NY Times]

By Joe Patrice
Morning Docket

Morning Docket: 06.29.17

* Phone sex operators are suing over labor law violations. Because, fittingly, you're not supposed to be able to f**k phone sex operators. [Law.com] * The National Law Journal continues to milk its ability to count because that's value add journalism! Today they count lawyers by city. [National Law Journal] * A list of high profile pro bono matters that Biglaw firms have taken on. Does your firm make the list? [American Lawyer] * Newly revealed FIFA report finds "appearance of improprieties." Yes, awarding an athletic tournament to a country with 120 degree weather and a slave labor bid does appear improper. Glad we got to the bottom of that. [Corporate Counsel] * Lawyers explain their travel hacks. [ABA Journal] * Divorce lawyer is also a matador. This isn't some kind of metaphor -- he fights bulls. [Chicago Tribune] * Nikki Haley becomes the latest official to run into Hatch Act trouble. [NPR] * Justice Breyer is the most talkative justice on the Supreme Court. I wonder who's the least talkative... [Law360]

By Joe Patrice
Morning Docket

Morning Docket: 02.08.17

* Last night's Ninth Circuit argument drew a live audience of more than 137K people. But remember there's no audience for real-time Supreme Court coverage. [Litigation Daily] * Despite the public interest, Judge Neil Gorsuch reportedly dodged questions about the ban "like the plague" according to Senator Schumer, who met with the nominee yesterday. With a president so fond of bluntness, it's good to see the old ways of spineless deflection and disingenuous evasion still have a home in Washington. [Law360] * ABA rejects tighter law school standards because why throw the brakes on the runaway train? [National Law Journal] * Maryland takes a firm stance against courts using financial wherewithal to determine whether someone sits in jail or goes free on bail. [Washington Post] * Quinn Emanuel's investigation finds widespread corruption at FIFA. In other news, the sky is blue. [Bloomberg] * The "Internet of Things" is going to blow up discovery. [Legaltech News] * Pillsbury takes its talents (from Boies Schiller) to South Beach. [Daily Business Review] * And congrats to the new editorial team over at ALM. Heather Nevitt was named executive editor of Corporate Counsel and Inside Counsel while Gina Passarella was named executive editor of The American Lawyer.

By Joe Patrice
Non-Sequiturs

Non-Sequiturs: 06.02.15

* Just days after a hard-fought reelection campaign, Sepp Blatter is resigning his post as President of FIFA. I wonder whose indictment is coming out next... [The Guardian] * The ABA is going to investigate the much-maligned Charleston School of Law. [SC Lawyers Weekly] * If you fancy yourself a trivia master -- or just want some free drinks and food -- sign up for ATL's Summer Trivia Showdown. Use the code "PLComp" to get in for free. [Above the Law] * A New Jersey judge gagged the Bergen Dispatch, leading to this incisive response from the paper and the judge quietly vacating her own order. As Walter Sobchak taught us, "The Supreme Court has roundly rejected prior restraint." [Boing Boing] * Not to diminish the serious electoral problems of the U.S., but check out how out of whack representation is in the United Kingdom. [Lawyers, Guns & Money] * If you're seeking a prosanity fix, a parent filed a federal lawsuit against local, state and federal education officials contending that the theory of evolution is functionally a religion and therefore teaching it is a violation of his kid's rights. [Charleston Daily Mail] * Seyfarth Shaw's Stephen Poor explains why he joined Twitter. He talks about innovation and leadership, but it was all about following @aplusk. [Bloomberg BNA / Big Law Business]

By Joe Patrice